Our Blog
Weekly reflections, updates, and news about our St. Stephen’s Community.
The Vestry of St. Stephen’s Announces New Rector
AN EVER-EVOLVING PRIDE
Many Houstonians remember when Pride began as a neighborhood festival in Montrose—a celebration that has since transformed in countless ways. Today, we witness not only an ever-growing community but also the evolution of our own congregational practices, embracing Pride and Queer Theology in new and meaningful ways.
At St. Stephen’s, you’ll hear stories of this faith community’s long-standing commitment to ecclesial equality, HIV/AIDS advocacy, and communal celebration that has connected more communities. You can findseveral podcast episodes with such stories here. God has surely blessed our community with gifts to lead and share in growing collaboration with the wider Episcopal Diocese of Texas.
As leadership broadens and changes, so too does how we celebrate—adapting to the times and the people God calls. While St. Stephen’s has proudly participated in Pride Houston festivals, supported parade entries, and shared Eucharist with neighboring congregations in years past, this year we will express the same passion in a new flavor.
We’ll gather at Christ Church Cathedral for a pre-parade reception and Eucharist — a simpler (and blessedly more climate-controlled) opportunity to celebrate. Those who would like to attend the parade in community will be supported in doing so, and those who have told us of limitations that keep them from attending will still have the opportunity to be part of our shared joy.
Whether this month means exploring history, theology, community, or identity; whether you consider yourself part of the LGBTQIA2+ “family” or an ally; you are whole-heartedly welcome in every aspect of our life of faith. We are proud to take this opportunity to proclaim the love of God that is reflected through all those created in God’s image.
THE CHURCH & KINGS & US
This past Sunday in worship, we as a community of faith gave voice to the promises and commitments of baptism. “Will you strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being?” To which, we collectively respond: “I will, with God’s help.” This is the Gospel that feels so at odds with the indignities and intensified violence we are watching from our nation’s leaders and authorities. What is the role of the church writ large and what is our role particularly as St. Stephen’s, being the broad and bold people who God created us to be in Montrose, Houston, Texas? Presiding Bishop Sean Rowe has written powerfully and clearly about the direct action and advocacy we can and are pursuing together as well as a sense of calling for this time:
“At its best, our church is capable of moral clarity and resolute commitment to justice. I believe we can bring those strengths to bear on this gathering storm. Churches like ours, protected by the First Amendment and practiced in galvanizing people of goodwill, may be some of the last institutions capable of resisting the injustice now being promulgated. That is not a role we sought—but it is one we are called to.” You can read his full letter here.
Here in this place, many of us are looking for ways to be a part of that calling. Prayer and presence are gifts we have to share. On Saturday morning, June 14th, our Men’s Spirituality group will gather (8 AM in Havens Center) for encouragement and prayer while our Rosary group (8 AM, in the Sanctuary and on Zoom) will be anchored in prayers of peace from near and far.
We can also gather together toward the steps of City Hall to join our neighbors in the local expression of the “No Kings” movement. All over the country, people are showing up and speaking out to proclaim that the way things are is not reflective of who we are nor who we want to be. The event in Houston begins at 10 AM this Saturday. If you would like to go with us, we will meet at the W. Alabama church parking lot at 9 AM, and head downtown together shortly after. Friends of all walks are welcome as people are seeking community to support such involvement. I will gather us and go with cold water and first aid and leaders trained in non-violent activism to review best practices and plans for safety, well-being, and making meaning of the day. You can bring similar things for yourself or to share as well as signs and sign-making supplies. Cell phone service is unreliable at such events, but the Pastoral Care line will be open (and text msg capable) for those looking to connect on the ground during the day. This number is published in our bulletins each week (which is also linked each week in these e-mails) so that you can have it and spammers miss it.
Whether you plan to come with us this time or in the future or be a part of this kind of activism anywhere, here are good resources we recommend to best be a presence of community care in the world. We each are given different gifts of the Spirit and have a variety of risks and privileges to faithfully consider. What remains true is that we are not alone and that we are bound to each other and these promises of ultimate goodness in sacred creation that can not be undone. Peace and courage be with you.
Rev. Ashley Dellagiacoma, Associate Rector
ON WELCOME AND MUSIC
One of the things I often hear people appreciate about St. Stephen’s is our broad and beautiful range of sacred music. We have a gifted Director of Music, Grace Sung, who makes intentional choices alongside our clergy about how we will sing of God together – from ancient psalm tones to hymns written with fresh lyrics that proclaim “blessed be the holy other whose sacred worth we know, who teach us where and when and how God’s telling us to go”. We know that what/how we sing says something about what/how we relate to God and one another, worthy of our care. What does our music say about who belongs here and what we value?
We draw from a diverse well that is both reflective of our own ever-broadening people and drawn toward people beyond us. This past Sunday we sang “I want to Walk as a Child of the Light” which was composed through the Episcopal Church of the Redeemer right here in Houston and we learned to sing of the light of God in Zulu and the Gloria in Spanish. In another season you might hear the Kyrie in Korean, or a Hebrew blessing, or “Lift Every Voice and Sing”, gifts of beauty and struggle that we may or may not connect to with the same familiarity or shared lived experience.
Growing up in this city, I learned to sing “You Have Come Down to the Lakeshore” most often in its original language as “Tú has Venido a la Orilla”. I sometimes wondered to myself why my mostly white home congregation would sing this way. Was it good and right and salutary for us to sing a song that didn’t feel like “ours” with accents and rhythm that I’m sure paled to its originating culture? But when I started spending more time in communities different from mine, those experiences gave me an even-imperfect literacy of worship that opened up greater connections locally and around the world. It also confronted me with a realization that the “us” of my home wasn’t as monolithic as I imagined and for some of my neighbors in the pews and hallways, this song was spiritual home.
In his book, “The Cross and the Lynching Tree,” James Cone writes about how critically black art in music has been a vessel of life and death from Tupac’s “Black Jesuz” to the spirituals of the enslaved like “The Welcome Table”, which we’ll sing this Sunday. (You can actually find a great write up from the Diocese about its history and meaning here. Cone is exasperated that the churches run by white America could read this same Bible and be exposed to this particularly black expression of faith and still miss the connection to the Gospel and each other’s lived reality.
That seems harder to change if our sacred stories in music are kept in their separate corners or the fear of singing it “wrong” and causing harm keeps us altogether silent. Even if our individual pronunciation is off or we have more to learn about the stories behind the songs, I am grateful for a community that wants to point to the goodness of God this way and gifted singers who help us learn and grow in our expression of faith.
-The Reverend Ashley Dellagiacoma, Associate Rector
Confessions of The Welcome Table
During this season of Easter, we’re asking our community to celebrate and embody resurrection by reflecting joy and generosity to each other in concrete ways. One practice you’ve probably heard me emphasize repeatedly is simply wearing a name tag when we come together in worship and community. Now…here’s the confession part. I, personally, really hate wearing a name tag. I do. It gives social anxiety about where to put it, and control issues, and a bunch of other things. And here’s confession #2. It really helps me when other people wear name tags. I have a very visual memory and while I can recall the details of someone’s favorite opera somehow, names seem to give me particular trouble. And…I know how important it is to be called by name as when Christ called to Mary in the garden, dissolving what was left of any veil over the resurrection.
So when I’m in spaces, like I was this week – with familiar faces, semi-familiar faces, and strangers mixed together – I am committed to wearing my name tag anyway. I’ve been reflecting on this simple practice as an act of generosity of self – as an act of grace to my neighbor who always sits on the other side of the pews, who has shared coffee and candles with us here and there, but feels bad about asking our name at this point. Or for the newbie who is like me…very human.
This is St. Stephen’s. So while we’re asking you to take on this practice, we really want it to be a blessing to be called by name and known as you hope to be. So feel free to embellish your name tag a bit as you’d like (just remember this is about hospitality, so it’s gotta stay legible). But you can add nicknames, pronouns, stickers, pins, or something else that shows us “you.”
I recognize this is a very small thing in a world of very large issues. But that seems to be where resurrection often starts. A small practice here that might help us take this joy into our bones and be inspired toward another blessing somehow or somewhere else. What’s something you know helps you to feel welcome and at ease and beloved among others? How can we preemptively and proactively offer that to others here and elsewhere? That’s where I often see a risen Christ in this world.
– The Reverend Ashley Dellagiacoma, Associate Rector
COMMUNITY BUILDING, MAKING ROOM FOR MORE
As I continue to pick up confetti from the floor, I recognize that one of the things I cherish about Holy Week is the way we as church really lean into ritually being a part of God’s story. The words of ancient people come out of our own mouths and there’s all this unique choreography and celebration that gets our bodies involved too. We get the implicit message that our whole being has a place here, even as we somewhat stumble in doing things that are different than usual. We make meaning of it with each other, we share in it together, and we help each other find the way.
As we turn from festival day toward a season that carries on the spirit of festival and feasts, we are engaging a series called The Welcome Table. It’s an effort to (re)connect with the tangible practices of community building – what are the practices, policies, and possibilities that make room for more.
What would a welcome table look like—or mean—to you? What do you long for here, and in community with others? Keep your eyes open for the signs, stories, and promises that invite us to gather—both here and beyond.
Join us this Sunday at 9:30 AM in the Gathering Area as we begin this series of conversations.
– The Reverend Ashley Dellagiacoma, Associate Rector
STATIONS OF THE CROSS
During Lent, you’ll find a series of 14 paintings in the Nave, depicting key moments from the end of Jesus’ life—from his condemnation to his burial. These paintings were created to accompany the devotion known as the “Way of the Cross” or “Stations of the Cross,” a cherished tradition, often observed on Fridays throughout Lent.
About the Stations of the Cross Art:
Anne Lilley Hammond, a member of the St. Stephen’s choir, painted the set of fourteen stations, exhibited for the first time during Lent, 1992. In her artist statement she said: “It was a privilege and as close to a religious act as anything I have done in my life, to paint these stations of the cross for St. Stephen’s. As I worked on them I was “made aware” of the light, for example, and I “felt” it grow darker as the journey progressed. When I painted Jesus falling the third time, I “felt” that he was going uphill, for example. This is hard to describe, but I felt present as a witness and these paintings are my best attempt to bear witness to that day when Jesus went to his crucifixion.”
We are grateful to our Rosary Group for sharing this information with us. They have created a guide for praying the Way of the Cross, featuring prayers and devotions for each station. We’ll share more about this in our next E-Star.
On Feasts & What exactly is “Chili Bingo”?
There is a time for getting ready and a time for moving from expectation and into being. As we draw near to the fullness of Advent and the mystery of Christmas, this is a time for being deeply present to the wonder now unfolding and to goodness so abundant that there is also room for frivolous joy and a generous table. Even when the world around us is swirling, our worship brings forth added smells and bells, we share delightful treats, and we turn toward one another with tender hearts. It helps us to remember, bring forth, and dwell in the promise of God with us.
Feasts and festivals go together and bid us to be playful even (and perhaps especially) when it wouldn’t otherwise be on our calendar. The day after Christmas, Dec. 26, is when the church calendar celebrates the Feast of Saint Stephen – often held as the first formal Deacon (an order of ministry for service) in the church. It is a time to have a bit of fun rejoicing in who we are. It has become a tradition here at this parish to celebrate with a feast called Chili Bingo.
But exactly IS chili bingo? Quite simply it’s a simple chili potluck dinner, someone calling “B-8” and such, and the bingo winners get to choose a white elephant gift from the pile on our table or steal one that has already been opened. You never know what might happen! There could be an artisan roll of festive toilet paper, a regifted garden tool set, or glittery religious icons…all in the mix. We’re also happy to help you polish off any leftover cookies . You can bring a gift and/or food and drinks to share (respectful BYOB is practiced) or simply come as you are and there’s always enough to go around. Friends and guests are always welcome since there is a feast always has room for more and everyone who arrives can get in on the joy.
Whether at this table or wherever you find yourself is this season, may you know the goodness of God at your side.
Rev. Ashley Dellagiacoma, Associate Rector
A message from Rev. Ashley, Associate Rector
People of God,
On the morning after the election, I sat on the floor in the Nave leading Chapel with our students. I wasn’t sure what I would say to them. So we lit our candles, watched its light move and change, and we sang the songs about peace and community we sing every week. Sometimes it feels like going through the motions, and somehow the motions keep our frayed edges woven together.
The way here has been perilously fraught. The loss and pain of what has been and the fear of things to come, is credible and heavy. God, who knows and bears these depths too, does not ask us to hurry them along or tidy them up.
I do not have any secret sacred remedy for heartache or humanity. Some things can not be solved, but they can be shared. Jesus has shown us the way of clinging to people over pundits and platitudes. We gather and hold one another as church because God welcomes us as raw and beloved. This church welcomes you without asking you to tuck in your feelings at the door.
We may not know what to do with what lies ahead, but we can sing and breathe and cry and light candles and tell our stories. We come to be together in worship and prayer and God feeds us. It helps us hold what we don’t know how to carry.
May the God of all our tomorrows be as near to you as your own heart. May we be drawn to care in one another. And may resurrection unbind us from the grave. Amen.
In Christ,
Rev. Ashley Dellagiacoma
THE CAT IS COMING!
Sisters and Brothers in Christ,
As we mentioned a couple of weeks ago, we will once again be using Holy Cow! Consulting’s Congregational Assessment Tool (CAT) to gather your input about abilities and skills we seek in our next Rector. The survey will also help us create an overview of our goals and attitudes on a variety of topics related to our church/school community and its ministry, as well as our demographics . Links will be sent by text and email and will also appear in next week’s Sunday bulletins and E-Star, and responses will be collected through August 25. If you want to participate by other means, please call the church at 713-528-6665 and we will accommodate your needs.
At the July Vestry meeting we formed a subcommittee of Vestry members that will soon be soliciting applications to serve on our Rector Search Committee. An application form will be made available to any member that wishes to nominate themselves or another member for Search Committee service. Once the application window has closed, the subcommittee will refer the applications to the Vestry with its recommendations.
As a reminder, the Diocese has set the following guidelines and requirements for members of the Search Committee:
1. Member in good standing who is faithful in regular attendance at worship
2. Has served in leadership capacities in various of our ministries
3. Has pledged or given regular financial support to the church
4. Can collaborate with and listen to others and be part of consensus decision making
5. Demonstrates a mature commitment to the vision, mission, and core values of our community
6. Is a person of prayer and faithful living
7. Demonstrates the wisdom and capacity to hold in confidence sensitive information
Per Diocesan policy, the following individuals are not eligible to be on the Search Committee:
A. The Interim Rector or other clergy
B. A member of the staff or related to any parish staff
C. A spouse, partner, or relative of a Vestry member
D. A spouse, partner, or relative of any member of the clergy in the Diocese
Thank you for your continued prayers and support!
Yours in Peace,
Dave